Fall for me is time to lay down my burdens. It’s time for me to recoup in a sense. This past summer was a lot for me. There was to much going and I was constantly moving. I had a blast but now I need to refocus and recoup. I need time to prepare for whatever is next. The leaves start to change and so do I. As I do everyday.
I told myself this past summer that I would shy away from wearing all black. I bought brighter colors, a lot of grays and played with more patterns. But summer is over- what do I do now? I said I’ll keep the trend going and mix it up a little bit. Blacks with a pop color or my favorite, olive green. The plan is to match nature in a sense. As it changes so will I. Stay true to my roots (black and simple) but change when needed.
I love fall is one of my favorite seasons honestly. Simply because it’s not to hot and it’s not to cold. In Atlanta, Mother Nature can’t make up her mind as to what she wants to do. But it’s okay because I’ve been giving looks.
I’m excited to see what all this season has to bring and what lessons I’ll learn. I’m also looking forward to how my style will change and evolve to match my environment.
Sometimes I let my mind roam and explore and take me places that allow me to think deeper. I was riding home from work and I was listening to I Wanna Be Like You by Ibeyi. I was listening to the lyrics and the power in these women’s voice and I was captivated instantly. I started to listen deeper to get a better understanding of what the song was about. I started to think about the complex of age and how when we’re younger we wish to be older and when we’re older we wish we were younger. I realize how unappreciative we are as humans naturally. We are never content with what we are given. The innocence and freeness of a child is something I wish I still had. The joy of a child that I didn’t think to embrace and hold onto as long as I could have when I was younger. It’s deeper than just not having any bills or no responsibilities. It’s the freeness I miss most. Little person in a big world of unknowns without any sort of presumptions or knowing of what is coming next. Your mind can’t even process what is next in a lot of situations. As an adult, we base what we do next based off a prior experience. Doesn’t matter how optimistic we may seem there’s a sense of pessimism in us when it comes to certain situations due to a prior experience and there’s nothing wrong with that. But imagine if we lived our lives like adult sized kids who just were full of questions and unknowns and we didn’t let these unknowns scare us we kind of just went with them and moved forward accordingly. Imagine us taking in the wisdom and seeing the light and positivity in all things and embraced the wisdom that is being brought forth from whatever situation at hand. We need to learn to let go more. Just let it go. We’ve been holding on to these presumptions and ideas and ideologies for way to long and it’s holding us up from our next step. We have to break away from our own insecurities and fears and understand they will always be an insecurity and a fear but those insecurities and fears can’t hold us back from experiencing life and practicing our human right to mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally evolve. We must protect our energy, secure our happiness and love from our hearts. We must start love with ourselves and get back to that kid who was in the unknown who allowed life to teach them what they need to grow into their destiny. Sometimes I let my mind roam and explore and take me places that allow me to think deeper…
Naturalist and myself have been telling you all for a while that these companies really do not care about anyone, especially those us of color. The recent noise with Dove is their new ad that basically said “Black skin is dirty and white skin is clean and in order to get have perfect, white clean skin use Dove”. Now lets be clear, this isn’t the first time a company has displayed darker skin as dirty or evil or less than and I guarantee this won’t be the last.
Dove is apart of Unilever, a company who claims to be sustainable and blah blah blah. Granted they may have lessened their carbon foot print by recycling and other things which is great but like Dove and many other products there is a long list of toxic chemicals in these products that literally can cause major issues to your body including cancer. I’m not being extra here. These companies only care about ONE thing and that is making money. Everyone is going natural simply because no one wants to fear that their soap or shampoo is going to alter their DNA is some way, shape or form and eventually have major health effects. It’s kind of ridiculous.
I tell people all the time to buy black as much as possible. Buying black not only keeps the black dollar circulating but you know what is in your products, their natural ingredients and you see and know who is making your products. Theres an ease about knowing that legal drug lords aren’t making your soap and other household products. And since we’re on the topic of buying black and supporting black businesses let me say this. Black people LOVE to call out the customer service of black owned businesses but NEVER complain about the Asian owned nail shop who literally are talking about you in your face. Or the Middle Eastern gas station who literally tell people to get the fuck out. YET we complain about a black owned business simply because we’re judging them 10 times harder because… well…because it’s black owned. All businesses need to focus on customer service and just like I’ve received horrible service at a major department store I’ve also received amazing service at a major department store. I’ve also had amazing service at a black owned business- actually I have experienced more good than bad at a black owned business. So stop ostracizing black owned businesses only and lets start holding everyone to same caliber for customer service. Thanks in advance.
Read your labels people!
Sodium Lauroyl Isethionate, Stearic Acid, Sodium Tallowate Or Sodium Palmitate, Lauric Acid, Sodium Isethionate, Water, Sodium Stearate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Cocoate Or Sodium Palm Kernelate, Fragrance, Sodium Chloride, Tetrasodium Edta, Tetrasodium Etidronate, Titanium Dioxide (Ci 77891).
DOES ANY OF THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE BATHING WITH!!! FYI- thats all the ingredients in the basic white Dove bar soap. Not good for anyone of any race. I prefer to be able to pronounce the things I use and be able to identify with them. These products are not for us so why support them? There are over 1000 natural brands owned by people of color and you can check them out at WeBuyBlack. Don’t ever say I didnt do anything for you.
I question everything and that gets me in a lot of sticky situations. You would think by now I would’ve learned to shut the fuck up but no, that’s not in my character. I refuse to sit around and just let things happen without an explanation or some sort of conversation taking place. As of late, a lot of people have been discussing gender norms and what is and what isn’t appropriate for a man and woman to do. Now, just a brief reminder for those who aren’t aware- I’m a womanist. A womanist is someone who believes equality for all women no matter their color, religion or birth assigned gender. And that’s the short version. Now that thats out of the way, how the hell can you tell a man or woman what they’re supposed to do? Who made these rules? Where’s this law? And why are men so damn sensitive?
Us men have this idea in our heads that it’s a mans world and that we’re supposed to be superior to women which is why we shiver at the thought of a woman in power. Women in charge catch hell by both men and women because she is deemed as the weaker specimen, the nurturer, blah blah blah. Granted, men are physically built to be the provider and what not and a women are naturally nurturing and what not but, let’s be clear, anything a man can do a woman can do and more than likely do better. And that’s that ladies and gentlemen. This has been proven on numerous occasions yet women still have to deal with the ego of a man.
One thing I absolutely do not cater to the ego of a man. I have had conversations with some of my male friends and literally I just stare at them and go “What the entire fuck is wrong with you?” Some of their expectations of women are absurd and in no way make any sense. I have come across men who literally ain’t shit who expect women to go to the moon and back for them while they sit around and do nothing. How exactly does that work? What happened to men being providers and taking care of their women? Or what’s wrong with the woman being the bread winner and putting you on some new shit and upgrading your life and helping you as you help her boss up? Is that not a thing? Did I make that up? Are men supposed to sit on their made up throne as women cater to their every need? That’s dumb. Just because the woman is bossing up doesn’t mean you are any less of a man. If anything you should be bossing up to. Equally yoked is what it’s called. If I got it, you got it. We shine together. Learn from women because I guarantee you she’s learning from you whether it’s good or bad, sis is learning.
Okay I feel like I’m missing the point.( sike I know y’all fucking feel me) But gender norms, let’s redefine them ladies and gentleman. Society and religion and all these other factors that I rather not name at this time have told people that their feelings and wants aren’t deemed appropriate due to their gender. It affects so many factors in our lives that cause us to be hyper aware of our every move and unction instead of just flowing and living in your truth. No one can tell you what is appropriate for you simply because they are not living your life. Do what works for you and that’s that. Be a good person and live your damn life. My girl, if you want to speak up and boss up and wear a damn pant suit and not shave your legs or whatever else you want to do, do it. Fuck societies definition of a lady. You define who you are as a woman. My guy, don’t let your ego get you fucked up. Don’t miss opportunities to be experience life because you’re to concerned about what people will say about you and your masculinity. A man is going to be a man regardless. You define what a man is to you. Operate in truth, stand your ground, love everyone and just be a good person. If you want to wear pink or floral prints and get a manicure, do it! I promise you, you’ll be fine. Being a well groomed, well dressed man does not make you gay or metrosexual( is that still a thing? Did I just date myself? Am I getting old? Dammit…) it just makes you a well kept MAN. And I promise you, the ladies love that shit! At the end of the day Beany Babies, live your life how you want and fuck what anyone has to say. If anyone has a issue tell them come see me so we can talk. I got your back 😉
A lot of people see me and read my blog and follow me on Instagram and put me in the category of being “woke”. Woke is the past tense of being wake, the moment the “veil in removed from ones eyes”, being aware of problems concerning the human race and being somewhat of an advocate of these things. This is all good but lets be clear, I’m not woke. Hear me out.
I have ran into several people who claim to be woke and who are so fucking sleep it makes no sense. They read these books and quotes from politcal leaders before us and base their whole lives on that. Heres the problem, you can’t repeat whats already been done. The fore fathers and mothers of the revolution were born in a different time and a different space where certain things were unacceptable and unthought of. We are our ancestors biggest dreams. They did not fight and march and protest for us to mimic them. They set a foundation for us to build upon. And my issue with some “woke” people are, they spew so much hate. How can you be for black people but pick and choose which black person you want to fight for? How can you want peace of love for a certain person but disregard others because they live a different life than you do? That’s not woke. Thats ignorant.
To be aware of issues you have to know of all issues. To be apart of the solution you have to see the problems as a whole and figure out where you fit. Not everyone is met to be the leader of a group, some people are meant to be behind the scenes and plan and strategize, not stand on their soap box and talk about how much black lives matter. You have to be about action. Find your lane and stay there. I’m a blogger, I’ve been blessed with the talent of writing and articulating myself to get a message across. Not only am I a blogger, I’m a business student at the illustrious Clark Atlanta University which is a historically black university. I am part of the solution simply by knowing my lane. I have plans that will not only benefit me and add notches to my resume it will uplift communities- local and abroad. Thats what being aware is. Recognizing who you are as a person and recognizing what is going on around you and then figuring out how to fix it. Understanding how to use your resources and make shit happen. Not competing against other woke individuals on who is more woke or more black or more anything. Not hash tagging black lives matter every time someone is racially profiled but ignoring trans lives and Native American lives, muslims lives and dammit even white people. You have to love everyone and be about equality and justice across the board.
So, I repeat- I AM NOT WOKE. I am aware. I am aware of who I am. I’m not sure of my purpose as of yet but I am aware of the fact that my purpose will find me as long as I am putting good back into the world. I will continue to fight for the rights of black, brown, gay, straight, trans, christians, muslims, buddhist, EVERYONE. I will continue to smile everyday, because if you didnt know, being happy is apart of the revolution. And will remain aware, with all eyes and ears open of the problems in this cold world and hopefully with the strength of God, my ancestors, the universe and my village I will be apart of the solution to end the problems in this world. My daily prayer is to be led and to keep the peace within and around me. And thats, that.