I’m Not Your Woke Friend

There has been many things going on in the world. Suddenly slavery was a choice and you can’t sit in Starbucks as a black man without being targeted. There’s just a lot of vibes being thrown around. And there’s also been a surge of people wanting to hear my opinion on things. Phone calls, tweets, DMs, text messages, actual strangers trying to start debates with me because apparently I just look like I have an opinion. And I do. But what I won’t do is continue to use my energy towards fuck shit. And I wish I could find another word(s) to describe what’s been happening but that’s just what it is. Fuck shit.

First and foremost, I thought I told y’all- I’m not woke. Nothing about me is woke. I’m aware. I’m aware of the uneducated, ignorance that has been spewing out of Kanye’s mouth ( yes I saw the whole interview, still fuck shit). I’m aware that it’s still cool but not cool to be black in public places. But I’m not your woke friend who is going to use all of their energy ranting and raving about topics over and over again. The woke community lacks something that truly bothers me and that’s facts. Facts trumps everything. If you don’t have your facts in order, don’t even try to start a conversation with me because I’m going to hurt your feelings. Research isn’t that hard. Stop allowing these social media prophets to big up your heads. Know the whole story and all the facts and then we can talk.

Another thing the woke community lacks is self identity. There have been many before us that unfortunately have fought similar(read same) battles that we are fighting today. However times are different. Frequencies are different. We are vibrating at a higher wavelength than those who came before us which means, we have to do things a little different. The woke community love to hold onto old ideologies that worked in the 50s and the 90s. But let’s think about what life was like back then. Shit, woman just earned the right to vote in 1920 and black women couldn’t vote until the 1960s. That alone says a lot. Women are forerunners for the majority of political movements and a few decades ago they weren’t even able to have a say-so for what happened in the world they lived in. So no, I can’t have the mindset as Marcus Garvey or Malcom X. However, I appreciate everything they have done and I will learn from their journey but I’m going to do what works for me.

And the last issue I’m going to discuss in regards to the woke community is the lack of resources. I still can’t understand how you can be woke and still pick and choose what type of person you choose to stand for. How can you wear your Black Lives Matter shirts and hashtag #BLM on every post yet, faggot is a word in your daily vocabulary? How do you not see all people of color as equal? How you hating on a person that isn’t even paying you any attention that is doing 10 times better than you? The LGBTQ community have been front and center for every political event yet the woke community still scrutinizes gays in the black community. If it wasn’t for those same faggots and dikes you would still be stuck in some fucked up situations. And speaking of resources, do you not understand that there is so much to learn from a person living a different lifestyle than you? Those trends that you are so ready to hop on, who you think started that?…don’t know ? I’ll tell you. The black woman that you quick to call a ho and a bitch but yet she’s a queen. The faggot that you bullied in middle school. The same people who subliminally made you are the same people you are casting out of your woke movement.

I repeat, I’m not your woke friend. When Kanye does something that is outright disappointing and foolish, don’t call me. I been telling y’all stop thinking one sided. When you question a man’s masculinity because of whatever, don’t call me because I been told y’all masculinity and femininity work together. And I also told you hyper masculinity is a fucking joke. No I’m not mad, I’ve been mad before. Now I’m just focusing my energy elsewhere. Focusing on fixing issues. Focusing on helping my community. And for my people, you know who you are, next time someone comes at you with the fuck shit ask them one question, what have you done for your community that has had a positive impact ?

Beanz Out

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Captain Save a Ho

I’ve come to realize that my life has aligned things that always put me in a position to help. I truly believe that we were put here on this earth to help one another. We all go through different things and have different experiences. We gain wisdom from our experiences and this wisdom is meant to be shared with those who need it.

For a long time I was giving , giving and giving and never took a chance to stop and ask “ who’s giving to me ?” That never was a concern of mine. I don’t help someone with the intentions of receiving something back. My true fulfillment comes from seeing my seed grow. Every word of advice-a seed. Every comforting hug- a seed. Every tear shed on my shoulder- a seed. I only plant what I want to harvest. I want everyone around me to flourish. Even if our time together is limited I want to know that you are out in the world living your life to its full potential and it brings tears of joy to know that my simple act of genuine kindness helped you get to where you are. I have no need to remind you, I have no right to get anything in return. All I want is for you to shine.

We have to open ourselves to other people. Our journey isn’t just for us. We have to share our experiences and our kind words and our truth in order to keep the cycle going. We must water one another in love and help wash away whatever pain we are harboring. In order for us to evolve as a people we must continue to humble ourselves and shed a light into one another’s life. There’s enough hate in the world we all can use an act of kindness and a warm hug right now.

This is a blog of love, this is a blog of unity. I love each and every one of you and I want my love to live forever so spread love. Let’s just love one another. We can use it for sure.

-Beanz Out

October 13, 2017

Sometimes I let my mind roam and explore and take me places that allow me to think deeper. I was riding home from work and I was listening to I Wanna Be Like You by Ibeyi. I was listening to the lyrics and the power in these women’s voice and I was captivated instantly. I started to listen deeper to get a better understanding of what the song was about. I started to think about the complex of age and how when we’re younger we wish to be older and when we’re older we wish we were younger. I realize how unappreciative we are as humans naturally. We are never content with what we are given. The innocence and freeness of a child is something I wish I still had. The joy of a child that I didn’t think to embrace and hold onto as long as I could have when I was younger. It’s deeper than just not having any bills or no responsibilities. It’s the freeness I miss most. Little person in a big world of unknowns without any sort of presumptions or knowing of what is coming next. Your mind can’t even process what is next in a lot of situations. As an adult, we base what we do next based off a prior experience. Doesn’t matter how optimistic we may seem there’s a sense of pessimism in us when it comes to certain situations due to a prior experience and there’s nothing wrong with that. But imagine if we lived our lives like adult sized kids who just were full of questions and unknowns and we didn’t let these unknowns scare us we kind of just went with them and moved forward accordingly. Imagine us taking in the wisdom and seeing the light and positivity in all things and embraced the wisdom that is being brought forth from whatever situation at hand. We need to learn to let go more. Just let it go. We’ve been holding on to these presumptions and ideas and ideologies for way to long and it’s holding us up from our next step. We have to break away from our own insecurities and fears and understand they will always be an insecurity and a fear but those insecurities and fears can’t hold us back from experiencing life and practicing our human right to mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally evolve. We must protect our energy, secure our happiness and love from our hearts. We must start love with ourselves and get back to that kid who was in the unknown who allowed life to teach them what they need to grow into their destiny. Sometimes I let my mind roam and explore and take me places that allow me to think deeper…

July 1, 2017

I’ve been having a hard time reconnecting with myself. I have been so caught up in the hoopla that I feel like I wasn’t being me.Unfortunately, I was giving to much of my energy to the wrong things and people which caused me to lose myself for a while. I couldn’t articulate my thoughts, I couldn’t process things correctly. Then on top of that, summer school decided to turn up on me out of no where. So there I was, stuck and tired. Stuck in a place that I wasn’t familiar with and couldnt tell you how I got there. I just knew this place wasn’t allowing me to be myself. Earlier this week I told myself, I’m letting it go. I didn’t know what it was but I woke up and said, I’m letting this go. And I did. I realized that the reason why I was in this place of being stuck and tired is because I chose to stay there. I was choosing to stay in this place that kept me from being myself,kept me from opening up, kept me down. And the reason why I stayed there is because something in me felt safe there. “They can’t find me here” I told myself out of fear of being myself. I had given myself, my energy, my greatness to so many people who didnt deserve it, waste of time. People who were the result of “wyd” text and thoughts of boredom. My energy was off. My equilibrium was off. I was off. So I put myself in this place where I was drained and tired and I rested there. But I had to get out. I couldn’t let a few fuck ups get me out of whack. 

I woke up today July 1,2017 with new energy, new thoughts, newness. Everything in my life is new. I have new people in my life occupying my time and we’re good. I have new struggles I haven’t dealt with before, but I will handle them. I have new goals and I can’t achieve those goals in that unfamiliar place of replenishment that kept me away from me. I’m here, I’m back and I’m happy to be here. Happy to be back in the now. Protect your energy, your body, your heart, your soul. Take that time you need to unplug but don’t forget to plug back in and be great. 
-Beanz Out

A Minimal Post

I’ve been practicing the art of letting go. I have allowed myself time to evaluate the things in my life. Those things could be people or actual physical things. I evaluated the people in my life and had to figure out why they are in my life and what they adding to my life and what do I THINK I add to their life. After evaluating people I am left with being alone a lot of times. I figured out some people are just taking up space and not doing much, some were even cancers to my life or I was a cancer in theirs. We weren’t good for each other, and that’s good to acknowledge because then you are allowed to look at yourself and evaluate yourself.

Earlier I mentioned the fact that I often find myself alone. I enjoy being alone. People tend to get confused with being alone and lonely, and let’s be clear- I’m not lonely. Lonely is an emotion, feeling left out or abandoned. Alone is just being by yourself and I often enjoy being alone. When I’m alone I tend to really look at myself and pay attention to my thoughts and feelings. And I don’t think we as people don’t put enough energy into inwardly self. We think alone time is let me get a massage or let me go get a haircut but sometimes we need to actually focus on a feeling that we’ve been carrying around. Focusing your energy is so important.

Ive been getting rid of things in my life and it has allowed to me to refocus my energy when it’s needed. I’m learning how to evaluate everything in my life and what it adds or takes away from me. All of this is due to my fasciation with minimalism and my journey of minimizing my life. Originally, I was just attracted to the aesthetics of minimal living. The simple wardrobe, the simple yet chic living environment. As I continued to look more into it I realized what it was really about. Detaching yourself from things and really becoming aware of who you are as an individual and not putting so much emphasize on what you have you externally but who you are internally.

So I have these bracelets I always wear. One is bronze and the other one was copper. I had a customer come in, sweet older lady. She saw my bracelet and wanted it. She even was willing to pay for it. Initially I said no like these bracelets are apart of my aesthetics. But she wanted the bracelet for her arthritis(copper is good for arthritis). So I was still helping her and in the midst I got quiet. I was having an internal conversation with God consulting on what should I do. After some consulting I gave her bracelet. One, I only had the bracelet for the looks of it  and she needed it for arthritis(wants vs. needs). Secondly, it’s just a bracelet, I could simply get another one. When you put good into the world and think about the needs of others, good comes back to you. And that’s exactly what happened. Same lady came back the next day to give me a new bracelet, this one silver. I will forever be grateful and I will always remember her and that’s what life is about. Meeting people, exchanging good vibes and good words.

Originally when I started minimizing my life I thought I just had to throw everything away and start fresh but I learned that, that’s not the way to go. When we throw things away we only end up buying more stuff that we think we need. I found this blog that gave me a few pointers on how to begin my journey. I have removed a lot of things from my life and I started to focus more on who I was as a human, as a man, as a black man living in the now. One thing I have a huge attachment to is my shoes. I just love shoes and I like talking about them, looking at them, wearing them, I just love shoes. I have more shoes than the average man and that is perfectly fine. After watching ‘Minimalism: A Documentary about Important Things’ I realized, its okay to have my shoes. My fascination with shoes allows me to meet other people. I couldn’t tell you how many relationships I have in my life that started due to shoes. From clients at work to random people on the train. That film taught me, its ok to have things but realize why you have those things but don’t let those things define you, be true to who you are.

I continue to minimize my life I will continue to share my journey with people and hopefully inspire others. Thats what this blog is about, inspiring others, helping others ad exchanging ideas. Thats why I’m here, dressing well & talking shit.

Beanz Out