So Dove Got Y’all Mad?

Naturalist and myself have been telling you all for a while that these companies really do not care about anyone, especially those us of color. The recent noise with Dove is their new ad that basically said “Black skin is dirty and white skin is clean and in order to get have perfect, white clean skin use Dove”. Now lets be clear, this isn’t the first time a company has displayed darker skin as dirty or evil or less than and I guarantee this won’t be the last.

Dove is apart of Unilever, a company who claims to be sustainable and blah blah blah. Granted they may have lessened their carbon foot print by recycling and other things which is great but like Dove and many other products there is a long list of toxic chemicals in these products that literally can cause major issues to your body including cancer. I’m not being extra here. These companies only care about ONE thing and that is making money. Everyone is going natural simply because no one wants to fear that their soap or shampoo is going to alter their DNA is some way, shape or form and eventually have major health effects. It’s kind of ridiculous.

I tell people all the time to buy black as much as possible. Buying black not only keeps the black dollar circulating but you know what is in your products, their natural ingredients and you see and know who is making your products. Theres an ease about knowing that legal drug lords aren’t making your soap and other household products. And since we’re on the topic of buying black and supporting black businesses let me say this. Black people LOVE to call out the customer service of black owned businesses but NEVER complain about the Asian owned nail shop who literally are talking about you in your face. Or the Middle Eastern gas station who literally tell people to get the fuck out. YET we complain about a black owned business simply because we’re judging them 10 times harder because… well…because it’s black owned. All businesses need to focus on customer service and just like I’ve received horrible service at a major department store I’ve also received amazing service at a major department store. I’ve also had amazing service at a black owned business- actually I have experienced more good than bad at a black owned business. So stop ostracizing black owned businesses only and lets start holding everyone to same caliber for customer service. Thanks in advance.

Read your labels people!

Sodium Lauroyl Isethionate, Stearic Acid, Sodium Tallowate Or Sodium Palmitate, Lauric Acid, Sodium Isethionate, Water, Sodium Stearate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Sodium Cocoate Or Sodium Palm Kernelate, Fragrance, Sodium Chloride, Tetrasodium Edta, Tetrasodium Etidronate, Titanium Dioxide (Ci 77891).

DOES ANY OF THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE BATHING WITH!!! FYI- thats all the ingredients in the basic white Dove bar soap. Not good for anyone of any race. I prefer to be able to pronounce the things I use and be able to identify with them. These products are not for us so why support them? There are over 1000 natural brands owned by people of color and you can check them out at WeBuyBlack. Don’t ever say I didnt do anything for you.

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Afropunk Brooklyn 2017

I like to make traditions for myself like running the Peachtree Road Race every year ( I missed it this year), or like buying myself a really expensive pair of shoes for Christmas as a treat yourself gift even though you don’t celebrate the holiday. Another tradition I have is going to Afropunk. I went for the first time last year and it was amazing! So many beautiful people and great music and just an overall good time. Originally, I wanted to go to Afropunk Paris but life happens and things don’t go as planned so I was determined to make to Afropunk Brooklyn.

This year my best pal Alyssa came with me and we drove from Atlanta all the way to Brooklyn, New York. It was a interested ride, learned a lot about one another- it was cool. Once we finally reached New York, I couldn’t hold in my excitement. As soon as you get out of the Holland Tunnel, theres this rush of excitement that takes over your body and all of a sudden your mood changes, your energy shifts, its that New York rush that I fucking live for. If you don’t know, I used to live in New York and if I could afford it I would move back in a heart beat, I love everything about the city. I could do what I want when I want and not have to worry about anyone. New York is where I feel at home.

Theres so much I can discuss about our trip as a whole like, the amazing food we ate! Oh my goodness! We spent so much damn money on food it was ridiculous! But lets focus on the topic at hand, Afropunk. Afropunk is a safe place for people of color to be who they really are. There are no boundaries to creation and thats the beautiful thing that keeps me coming. Theres every shade of brown there and every hair texture that you could possibly think of and everyone feels safe. Not only are there incredible fashions and styles but the music was literally amazing. We had the voice of the modern 20 something year old Sza, then MOTHA of goals Solange, the full bodied goddess Nao, the oh so funky and divine Macy Gray( A-FUCKING-MAZING BY THE FUCKING WAY), the hope for the future Willow Smith, Mr. Smooth & cool Anderson Pak and all kinds of other amazing performers that represented us as a whole. They empowered us with their music and allowed us to forget about all that is going on in the world for two days.

Afropunk is a tradition that I am happy that I added to my life. It allows me to escape for a few days to enjoy myself and enjoy everyone around me. Even when we were pushing and shoving one another to get to the front to feel the full impact of Sza’s performance, there was still love in the air. Since we are on the topic of shoving, moving  forward, I am only doing VIP for festivals. I have reached a point in my life where I can’t deal with the pushing and shoving and the lines and all the foolishness. I don’t think the people who set up Afropunk were prepared for the massive growth of the festival. There were so many people there and yes it was a beautiful sight to see but being in the mix of all the excitement was a lot to deal with at my old age.

I’m glad that Afropunk caters to all people especially us of color. It doesn’t matter what you are into, you are allowed to be that at Afropunk. This year they had a stage dedicated to our black rockers, and thats love. As a fellow man of color who enjoys a good head banging rock song every now and then, it was pleasant to see others come together to bang heads as one. And thats what makes being black so fucking amazing. There is no typical black person because literally we come in so many different forms. We create our own image, we just do our thing. Its a great time to be black no matter what society is trying to do to us. We are lit. Everything about us is lit. And if you need a reminder of that, and this blog doesn’t do enough reminding for you just attend an Afropunk event, you’ll see how lit we really are.

You Could Pay For School but You Can’t Buy Class

I never thought the day would come where I look at old pictures of myself and go “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I WEARING?!” Literally I was looking at pictures from my freshman year of college and I was just like, who the fuck did I think I was? And that’s what I think I was trying to figure out. College is a weird time for everyone. You’re trying to figure yourself out, figure out where you fit and just trying to figure out what life is about. When I got to Clark Atlanta University, I saw all these beautiful pro black professionals who looked all nice and here I was in my thirfted clothes and Vans- thinking I was doing something. I mean granted I was in trend but that didn’t even matter on campus. So I tried the whole afro-centric look with the kufi’s and what not. That rocked for a while. Then I got into the suit game and oh my goodness, I’ve come a long way. But that was a very interesting time. Figuring out my style and what worked for me. I had so many people in my ear telling me what to do and what not to do but I never stopped and asked myself, what works for me?

I personally think I’ve always had a great sense of style. But I was trying to fit this mold that wasn’t meant for me to fit. I had to create my own look that worked for me. I’m still figuring that out up to this day. And it’s fun. I try things, I like them sometimes and other times I don’t. I think we need to stop telling people what they should look like and let them figure out what works for them. Dress for where you want to go in life and dress so that you’re comfortable. I used to hate suits, so I thought. It wasn’t the suits I hated, it was the suits that didn’t fit me and the stupid tie. I hate ties! But that’s what I thought was the thing to do. Not my thing so I cut that short.

There’s rules in fashion that are complete bullshit. At the end of the day, style can’t be taught but it can be created by each individual person. I like the clean look but I like to be edgy and Afro-centricesque. I’m not going to be wearing a dashiki and a leather jacket anytime soon because that’s just not me. My look is for me and it works for me. It changes every season. Who am I kidding, every month. But that’s fine. It’s fun. Everyone no matter their gender or age should be able to explore style and fashion in order to find what works for them. Do you, be you and wear what the fuck you want.

 

P.S Have you noticed my new logo? Check out my good friend ACE .

This is a Style Blog right ?

This is where I come to say whatever I want. This is my outlet, my way of expressing myself, giving myself to others. And that includes my outfits. So here we are…a look. 

I’ve been trying to incorporate more color into my wardrobe and I must say it’s been fun. Every few months I try different looks and see how they work for me. I’ve been trying to get away from the edgy, oversized, I might do drugs in an alley look and go into a more edgy yet clean line, if I do drugs it’s designer drugs and in the comfort of my home so no one knows, look. And it’s been working for me. (No I don’t do drugs mom relax !) 

The hardest thing for me has been like getting up and thinking, what do I wear? I’m used to going in closet grabbing a top(black) a pair of pants(black) and my shoes. The hardest part used to be what shoes to wear. Now it’s, what the hell do I wear? But I’ll get used to this. 

Shirt: ASOS

Jacket: Zara

Pants: H&M

Shoes: Comme des Garcons 

Thank God I Found the Good in Good-Bye

There’s so much pressure about finding the one, and finding someone who is for you. Sometimes, we find ourselves looking for the qualities that we think we want in someone. We’re so aware of those qualities and sometimes we block good people out of our lives because they have qualities we may or may not like. How do we really know what someone else needs to possess in order for us to feel “complete”? How do we know that person is the one and not just the one for right now? Do we even need the one? Can I just have a few and enjoy their company in a non intimate way? Why can’t I just enjoy myself? Maybe I’m not meant to find the one, maybe I am the one.
I have had a fair amount of relationships and I have found that, people are annoying. Doesn’t matter their gender,race,lifestyle, whatever, something about dating makes people ten times more annoying. Including myself. There are things that I can’t control, like my constant urge to cuddle all day and eat in bed. I can’t control that, it takes over my body and there’s nothing I can do. But no seriously, I had to analyze my situations(current and past) and think what was it that kept me there? And what I found was, it was the illusion of happiness. I say illusion because I was going through my own internal battles, my own demons that I didn’t and still don’t want to deal with. So, in order for me to be okay I would find happiness in others. And because happiness feels good, I stayed where it felt good.
Now I remember at some point of my early college career, I stopped dating. I just stopped. Cut all communication with people, wasn’t flirting with anyone, I just was like no. And it was in this time where I learned so much about myself. I was able to deal with some(definitely not all) of those demons that I carried around. I soul searched everyday, I dug deep into my heart and looked deep into my reflection to figure out and get a better understanding of who I was. I found a lot of ugly within but I found so much good. And I was happy with both because I found it, I acknowledged it, I took on the task of healing the internal wounds everyday on this journey of life.

I got back into dating because I stared feeling the pressure. “I have to find someone” I told myself. “Everyone needs someone” what others told me. So dammit, I got back out there and started dating. I met some really grand individuals who taught me a lot and we shared some great times but, at the end of it all, I found myself losing myself. I had to step back for a second because dating, schooling, working and adulting takes a lot of fucking energy. I mean golly! I was drained 98% of the time. Yes I was having fun but I was doing to much for nothing because news flash , I’m still single!

I have somewhat accepted that maybe I’m just meant to be alone. Maybe the one I’ve been looking for is within. I have to fully search within myself and let God and life heal the things in me so that I can fully love myself and be fine with it. There’s a lot of love that one can find in themselves where they won’t need any other validation from anyone else or anything else. Loving yourself isn’t a crime and being alone is a good thing, it’s a peace that I remember having that I want back. I want to get back in good graces with my surroundings and myself. So enjoy these single moments and let these moments matter. I can’t emphasize enough how important self care/love is. Now, if someone decides to come along and not be playing games, has great communication skills and is willing to make things work between one another, don’t shoot it down because you’re so indulged with yourself. Maybe the love you have found in yourself is what that other person needs to help them. You don’t know how what you’ve been through may help someone else.

So cheers to the good in goodbye, the love that we harbor within to share with others in your community and around the world. Love yourself, love one another. Be a light not only for one person but be a light that shines across seas.

Beanz Out