Friday, June 16, 2017

Let’s get into this jacket ladies and gentleman. Let’s talk about this crazy deal I stumbled upon while riding around Atlanta and my friend randomly wanting to stop at Urban Outifitters. Now I have a rule about shopping at Urban Outiftters, if it isn’t on sale, PUT IT BACK! Literally, the majority of that stuff you can find at a thrift store, or on some hipster’s Etsy account. Where’s the lie? However, I don’t have time to search thrift stores and online shopping is a hassle so I just wait until Urban is having a sale. I could always wait on clothes. But that’s the problem, I always tell myself I could wait on clothes and end up with shoes for days with nothing to wear. So, I’ve been shopping. Reinventing my look (again). Trying to incorporate a little more color to my wardrobe. The sad part is someway, somehow I always result to buying something black or olive green or grey, those are like my go to colors. However, I saw this jacket and I had to have it. The site says $29.99 but I definitely paid $20. (Urban is weird like that) 

I’ve been neglecting my denim. These are my favorite Joe’s jeans that I bought three years ago. I have ripped these jeans more times than I can count but I love them so I just get them patched up. I have a jeans about designer jeans and that’s just buy one pair a year. They’re supposed to last like forever so you don’t need to spend all your money on a pair everytime you go shopping. I have bought some cheap little H&M jeans and some BDG as well but their exactly that, cheap little jeans that if I wash and dry probably won’t fit the same. 

I enjoyed this look. Felt great to wear. Got a lot of compliments and that jacket will be a staple in my wardrobe that will transition well into any season. 

Twenty-One

This is my ode to twenty-one. The year of a lot of alcohol, a lot of why the fuck and what the fuck and lessons. I learned a lot this past year, I over analyzed every situation to figure out is this for me? Is this what I really want? I asked so many questions at twenty-one and I got so many answers. I want to thank everyone who allowed me to just be twenty-one and enjoy whatever it had for me. Allowing me to figure out who I even was and what was right for me in the moment. Thank you.

21 things that twenty-one taught me

  1. This is who I am. There are many things about ourselves that we wish we could change and we wish we didn’t do and blah blah blah but, I remember at some point I just said shit, I’m tired! I’m tired of what I’m supposed to be, or what I’m supposed to do. That’s not me! I eventually had to look at all my ugly and my filth and say, this is me dammit! I can’t change that thing right now but that’s who I am at this moment. But I have life which allows me to change as it goes. I need this part of me right now to get me to the next stage of my life and for that I’m okay with me. I want to go to that next stage and I can’t if I’m continuously comparing what I am and what I’m supposed to be. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be so I’m going to let life figure that out for me. In the meantime I’m going to pray for better days, keeps my vibrations high and check them when they are low. I will do well for myself to do well unto others. The things that I can’t stand will turn into the things that I love because they make me who I am. And I to recognize I will not be here forever, life changes and I change. I am me.
  2. Vegan is not for me. I love cheese and I love bread! I just can’t let it go, I tried but no I can’t! I literally put cheese on everything and if there is a biscuit incorporated in my meal I’m the happiest man alive. When I was off dairy, yes I felt amazing. There were no headaches, energy was up and all that which is why I watch my cheese(dairy) intake but I have not deleted diary completely out my diet. One day maybe but right now, extra cheese on my burrito please !
  3. I’ve had enough of Atlanta. I’m ready to move! Okay, hear me out. I love the city of Atlanta, beautiful city, lots of cool people and places. But has anyone been watching the news lately? Atlanta is falling apart and I don’t have time for it. Like what the hell is actually going on? Sinkholes? Really? Is this really happening? Traffic is a bitch and a half and the train is over capacity at this point(as I write this on the train). Atlanta was not made for all these people and there is a new damn condo being built every time I blink my eye. Atlanta is my new home but I have to relocate while they fix their life.
  4. The concept of, there’s a reason for that. I question everything literally I think my most used word besides whatever is why. I ask why so much I even question my motives. Why did I do that ? Why do I think that way? I asked myself why so much I started doubting myself and that’s a no,no. Once you start doubting yourself you literally will stop yourself from doing what you really want to do. Or you stop yourself from fulfilling your full potential. So I just did what I knew best, go with the flow. I let control go. I just made sure I was in the right place mentally, physically and emotionally and I just went with the flow. I thought I had everything planned out but my ancestors apparently spoke with God before I did and had everything already planned out. Every door that closed allowed me to find a path to another door, a bigger and brighter door. The journey might have been a struggle but I’m still alive to talk about and I’m ok with that. I will never forget what my pastor told me “Time flys by when you’re having fun!” And let me tell you something Beany Babies, when you let go on control, life is an adventure park.
  5. Being black is grand.We already knew that but, I just felt like this was an appropriate time to remind you of how lit being black is. Don’t believe me? Read the previous post(s) before this one, black is great. That’s all.
  6. Sometimes, its best to not walk away but face it and deal with it. Things get hard and you want to quit and just throw in the towel especially if you don’t see the benefit of what you are doing. But let’s change the way we think. You could learn from those hard moments, that’s where growth happens. Think about a flower, before it blooms it has to break through the shell of the seed then it has to push through soil and rocks and all the other critters in the soil. Then the flower gets tired and loses energy but boom! Here comes some water and it’s ready to go again and it’s back pushing and striving to make it to the top to live out its full potential. Time goes by, after pushing and fighting it breaks ground and peaks it’s head but the journey isn’t over yet. It need water and sunlight to keep it growing and to keep it going. More time goes by and finally we have a beautiful flower. All the time and all the fighting that flower had to go through was worth it because now it’s a beautiful part of this world. That’s our life. We have to keep going take in our nutrients on the way so we too can be a beautiful flower on this earth and so on. Hold on Beany Babies. Hold. On.
  7. Let it go. Just throw it away. Don’t be so attached to it. It’s ok. Let it go. Take that however you need to. It could be a thing, person, mindset, whatever. Throw it away.
  8. I’m happiest when I’m eating. I’ve always known my source of true happiness came from food but it’s really a thing now like when I’m not eating I’m thinking about eating and the thought usually turns into action. Cutting out meat has done something to my appetite, I’m a serious snacker. It’s getting to the point now where I’m starting to carry snacks in my bags for those “oh some popcorn would be amazing in this traffic” moments. I don’t need help, I just need food.
  9. I’m not that much of an asshole as people make me out to be. I’m blunt as all hell and I hit the core. I say the things you need to hear and that’s that. We’re too wrapped up in our emotions sometimes, we need to be cut sometimes. That’s why I’m here, Edward Scissor Hands, cutting up.
  10. I don’t have a favorite color. I like different colors at different times of my life. Like right now, yellow is my color. It’s so bright and inviting. But last month it was mint green. Just depends.
  11. You only have 4 friends: God, Water, Wine and Coffee. No matter what the occasion those four are always there for you, trust me.
  12. Sage doesn’t stink. My dad used to burn our house down to the ground with sage and I used to hate it with every bone in my body. When I moved into my new place there was a thick paint smell. I tried everything I could think of to eliminate the smell then I remembered the good ol’ sage stick. Now I’m a sage burning, tea drinking, neo-soul playing mother shut yo mouth! Sage is a cleansing agent actually, it helps eliminate odors and cleanses your air overall. Which is great for me!
  13. Theres no such thing as to many shoes. Shut up and buy the damn shoes.
  14. I actually like kids. For the longest I could not stand children. I believed they were the spawns of Satan and I wanted nothing to do with them. Well I actually decided to work with kids and in the near future I’ll actually be teaching in front of a classroom for two-year(still un-fucking real). Kids are awesome actually! They still are the works of evil but they have a very interesting perspective on things that allow you to sit back and go, hmm. And they give you a dose of real you were not ready for. I know understand the whole “Kids are the future” mobojumbo. I’m excited to talk to kids now and hear them out because literally they just want someone to listen to them and go you know what, that is awesome that you feel that way and this is why…blah blah blah.
  15. Black hair is a journey of its own. In November I decided that I was going to grow my hair out into this big massive afro of black boy joy and was going to love it. Let me tell you something, any woman, man or anything with natural hair please applaud them every time you see them because it’s a process just to walk out the house sometimes. From the deep conditioning, twist out, comb outs, oil and water concoctions, the avocado hair masque, IT NEVER ENDS! All in the name of #hairgoals . But there is a no joy like the joy of a fleeky twist out, NONE!
  16. My cut off game still strong.
  17. I can’t Tumblr anymore. It was a sad day when I deleted the Tumblr app off my phone. I have had my Tumblr since sophomore year of high school so you could only imagine the amount of trash that polluted my dashboard. I got to a point where it was just like, no. I can’t. It’s not you, its me.
  18. I have a voice. People actually hear me. For the longest I thought I was just a whisper in the winds but apparently people actually hear me and be feeling me. I’m not cocky about it or anything but it’s just like woah! Y’all hear me ? Cool. I really just be talking a lot of shit but thank y’all for listening to my shit.
  19. Hats are life. Without hats, what would I be?
  20. Thick thighs save lives. They really do!
  21. I’m a fucking adult ! Oh my goodness! Like I actually use my brain now, I make better decisions. I’m really getting old. I’m finally maturing and honestly I’m ok with it. I have really good people around me and we’re constantly exchanging wisdom with one another and literally I’m very thankful for them.

Twenty- one has been a year full of adventures. A lot of things just didn’t make sense but I enjoyed every moment. There were ups , a lot of ups and there were downs. The downs motivated me to go up and the ups motivated me to keep going. Thank you twenty-one for kicking my ass and being awesome AF. AF AF AF ! Thank you for the people I’ve met and the people I no longer see. Thank you for the memories and the moments that got me here writing this post about your awesomeness. Twenty-one, you my nigga for life. Tell twenty-two not to suck ass and just turn up, turn up just because. No age will ever compare to you but it’s only up from here. Thank you Twenty-One , let’s rock Twenty-Two.

Black, Alone & Well- Traveled

All my life I had made these plans to do things that involved someone else. I remember in high school, Lady Gaga had came to town and I had another friend who wanted to see GaGa live. This was during her Fame Monster circa so I had to see it. I had my money for the ticket, my other friend didn’t. Guess what happened ? I didn’t see GaGa that year. I was so sad because I didn’t feel comfortable enough to go to a concert by myself. If my friend didn’t go, I didn’t go. Nonetheless, some years passed and I was able to see Lady GaGa live (ArtPop circa). But instances like this has happened to me so many times. I have even lost friends due to similar situations. (Yes another quick story) I had a really close friend, I mean two peas in a pod. We loved  our pod so much, we got an apartment together. We had planned to go to New Orleans for her birthday, didn’t happen. Several other things happened in the midst but the kicker for me was Afropunk Brooklyn 2016. We were supposed to go together, we didn’t. I didn’t know we weren’t going as one until last minute. Ticket prices went up and everything! I WAS PISSED! I ended up going by myself to Afropunk because at that moment I was just fed up. At that moment I made the choice to start traveling alone. I was already used to going on adventures by myself and talking to strangers and making new connections. Why not travel alone ? That friend and I no longer speak unfortunately (a lot more transpired before and after the Afropunk drama) but, I say all that to say, there is so much liberation and awkwardness in traveling alone. There’s something in you like, oh shit what if something happens? Who is going to help me? All kind of questions start going through your head but literally you have to just tell yourself, fuck it! Whatever happens, happens. I’m going! Then when you finally make it to your destination and start doing things and meeting people you feel like the ultimate bad ass. The thrill of running off your own time and the joy of doing whatever you truly want to do. Luckily, by the Grace of God, I’m still alive to tell the story about my solo travels.

My latest adventure took me to Jamaica. I booked a ticket to Jamaica to meet and stay with complete strangers. Yes! I’m NUTS! But let’s talk about the importance of being black and well traveled for a second before I jump into that experience. A lot of black kids don’t have the opportunity to go to a resort for a vacation and they definitely don’t have the opportunity to go to a resort out of the country like some of the other kids. And for that reason alone is why it is important to be black and well traveled. Representation. The more black people that are travel will open doors for other people to travel so that other kids can identify with them and have an understanding that not only are you going to grow up and be phenomenal but you too can travel across boarders and you too will take your kids to these different places. Traveling is so important, helps broaden your mental horizons and that is definitely needed within the black and brown community.

But back to me going to Jamaica. This trip was about to be a flop too due to some friends not being able to go. At first I wanted to go to Mexico for spring break. It’s my last spring break, I’m not spending in Miami or anywhere in the states! Mexico didn’t happen. So I started looking for deals elsewhere. I was skeptical about going out the country by myself but a friend told me, “just do it!”. I prayed like God I really want to go out the country for Spring Break. I was perusing the internet and came across something called Global Jet Black Jaunt. A group of travelers dedicated towards people of color. They had a sick deal to Jamaica during my spring break. 4 days, all inclusive(except airfare) for $1000. It was super last minute so I booked it ! And since I booked it during Black History Month, I got $200 off. So it made the deal even sweeter. I was so skeptical about this because it was my first time going out the country and to add some more edge, I’m going by myself to meet and live with complete strangers! But I had to literally tell myself, “Why the hell not ! If I die or get kidnapped or something then so be it.” That was litteally my attitude( Let’s be honest here, it’s not even safe in the United States either #FindOurGirls).

The trip was amazing! Met amazing people, literally everyone in my group literally were friends in another life at another time, it was crazy. I just couldn’t believe that some higher power created his beautiful country, and I did a lot of reflection on that and my life as a whole and just to think how far I’ve come and also realizing again how much further I have to go. That’s why I say, travel alone. Spend sometime with yourself in an unfamiliar environment. Meet people! I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to meet new people, the connections I have made will help me forever and I’m forever grateful for that.

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Before I started traveling , I thought traveling was expensive. But it’s really not. I’m planning a trip to Europe, 5 countries for a week-$1500. That’s airfare, housing, all that! Like anything else in life, do your research. Get rid of the mindset that you have to have this hyper-glamorous traveling experience and learn to enjoy what the country truly has to offer. In Jamaica I got to really be with the locals and talk with them, in New Orleans I really walked through the quarter before all the Mardi Gras madness took place and embrace the New Orleans culture, in DC I ate so much crab it made no sense( and I’ve never been a crab eater,had to detox like shit when I got back). Just enjoy your travels! Put your damn phone away and embrace it all, the people, the scenery, the FOOD, everything. Another tip, DO NOT FLY SPIRIT OUT OF THE COUNTRY! The worst thing to hear while out of the country with y’all president in office is your flight got cancelled, that’s all I’m going to say about that.

I have tons of tips about traveling domestically and internationally and I welcome questions, so let’s talk.

-Beanz Out

 

Photo credits : The Art Hype 

Thanksgiving at Haus of Beanz 

Red cups and bottles on top of bottles of liquor. This was my first year hosting Thanksgiving at my house, I’m officially an adult.

This year I wasn’t able to spend thanksgiving with my family and I decided to have some friends over and have dinner at my place. I cooked for three days! I had to clean and redecorate because my place was definitely single, bachelor, college student friendly. A lot of my friends never had a full pescatarian/vegetarian meal before so this was time to shine. 

There was a lot of crap being thrown my way for having a meatless Thanksgiving, the tofurky and kale jokes would not stop. But neither of those things were on the menu. I had salmon Wellington as the main dish, cornbread dressing, vegan greens, salmon fried rice(my mom said you’re not a real Guyanese without rice), maccaroni and cheese and stuffed bell peppers. I blew myself away. 

Haus of Beanz was a random joke that came up when my friends started to arrive and it just worked. My little apartment with minimal furniture and artwork everywhere, Haus of Beanz just made sense for that day. 

I’m not to sure why I’m sharing all of this with you all, I guess I’m just really proud of myself. I guess I’m really growing up but some things don’t change like I don’t know who is going to wash the dishes in the sink. Not sure if I’m going to be hosting big dinners like that again but at least I can say I did it, and the food was good and everyone had a great time. I’m thankful for everyone who came and the good vibes. And I’m very thankful for life and all of it’s ups and downs. And I’m thankful for you for reading this post as well as supporting Designer Beanz. Forever grateful.

-Beanz out

My love of jackets & layers

Ever since I was little I was obsessed with jackets. Jackets were an essential part of my childhood wardrobe and as I’ve matured and evolved, they still are. 

In this look I am wearin my Zara Trench and my favorite thrifted denim jacket with a friendly reminder on the back of it. 

No matter the time of year I find a way to layer. Layering to me allows one to add to their simple outfits. I’m all about exaggerating the simple. 

Beanz Out.