October 13, 2017

Sometimes I let my mind roam and explore and take me places that allow me to think deeper. I was riding home from work and I was listening to I Wanna Be Like You by Ibeyi. I was listening to the lyrics and the power in these women’s voice and I was captivated instantly. I started to listen deeper to get a better understanding of what the song was about. I started to think about the complex of age and how when we’re younger we wish to be older and when we’re older we wish we were younger. I realize how unappreciative we are as humans naturally. We are never content with what we are given. The innocence and freeness of a child is something I wish I still had. The joy of a child that I didn’t think to embrace and hold onto as long as I could have when I was younger. It’s deeper than just not having any bills or no responsibilities. It’s the freeness I miss most. Little person in a big world of unknowns without any sort of presumptions or knowing of what is coming next. Your mind can’t even process what is next in a lot of situations. As an adult, we base what we do next based off a prior experience. Doesn’t matter how optimistic we may seem there’s a sense of pessimism in us when it comes to certain situations due to a prior experience and there’s nothing wrong with that. But imagine if we lived our lives like adult sized kids who just were full of questions and unknowns and we didn’t let these unknowns scare us we kind of just went with them and moved forward accordingly. Imagine us taking in the wisdom and seeing the light and positivity in all things and embraced the wisdom that is being brought forth from whatever situation at hand. We need to learn to let go more. Just let it go. We’ve been holding on to these presumptions and ideas and ideologies for way to long and it’s holding us up from our next step. We have to break away from our own insecurities and fears and understand they will always be an insecurity and a fear but those insecurities and fears can’t hold us back from experiencing life and practicing our human right to mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally evolve. We must protect our energy, secure our happiness and love from our hearts. We must start love with ourselves and get back to that kid who was in the unknown who allowed life to teach them what they need to grow into their destiny. Sometimes I let my mind roam and explore and take me places that allow me to think deeper…

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Lets Be Clear

A lot of people see me and read my blog and follow me on Instagram and put me in the category of being “woke”.  Woke is the past tense of being wake, the moment the “veil in removed from ones eyes”, being aware of problems concerning the human race and being somewhat of an advocate of these things. This is all good but lets be clear, I’m not woke. Hear me out.

I have ran into several people who claim to be woke and who are so fucking sleep it makes no sense. They read these books and quotes from politcal leaders before us and base their whole lives on that. Heres the problem, you can’t repeat whats already been done. The fore fathers and mothers of the revolution were born in a different time and a different space where certain things were unacceptable and unthought of. We are our ancestors biggest dreams. They did not fight and march and protest for us to mimic them. They set a foundation for us to build upon. And my issue with some “woke” people are, they spew so much hate. How can you be for black people but pick and choose which black person you want to fight for? How can you want peace of love for a certain person but disregard others because they live a different life than you do? That’s not woke. Thats ignorant.

To be aware of issues you have to know of all issues. To be apart of the solution you have to see the problems as a whole and figure out where you fit. Not everyone is met to be the leader of a group, some people are meant to be behind the scenes and plan and strategize, not stand on their soap box and talk about how much black lives matter. You have to be about action. Find your lane and stay there. I’m a blogger, I’ve been blessed with the talent of writing and articulating myself to get a message across. Not only am I a blogger, I’m a business student at the illustrious Clark Atlanta University which is a historically black university. I am part of the solution simply by knowing my lane. I have plans that will not only benefit me and add notches to my resume it will uplift communities- local and abroad. Thats what being aware is. Recognizing who you are as a person and recognizing what is going on around you and then figuring out how to fix it. Understanding how to use your resources and make shit happen. Not competing against other woke individuals on who is more woke or more black or more anything. Not hash tagging black lives matter every time someone is racially profiled but ignoring trans lives and Native American lives, muslims lives and dammit even white people. You have to love everyone and be about equality and justice across the board.

So, I repeat- I AM NOT WOKE. I am aware. I am aware of who I am. I’m not sure of my purpose as of yet but I am aware of the fact that my purpose will find me as long as I am putting good back into the world. I will continue to fight for the rights of black, brown, gay, straight, trans, christians, muslims, buddhist, EVERYONE. I will continue to smile everyday, because if you didnt know, being happy is apart of the revolution. And will remain aware, with all eyes and ears open of the problems in this cold world and hopefully with the strength of God, my ancestors, the universe and my village I will be apart of the solution to end the problems in this world. My daily prayer is to be led and to keep the peace within and around me. And thats, that.

-Beanz Out

Who asked you?

I have a problem. My problem is, I do what I want. With this problem, people feel the need to tell me how they feel about what I’m doing but what they really like to talk about is what I’m wearing. It is very seldom that I ask people how they feel about my outfit or should I wear something or not. My style is exactly that, mine. It’s my way of self expression, my mood, my stance , whatever! It’s mine and I don’t need anyone telling me anything about it except, “You look nice.” where I humbly reply, “Thank you.” and go about my business. I always look nice in my opinion even on the days where I’m not that satisfied with my outfit because I remind myself, when I got dressed today, thats how i felt and somewhere between then and now I changed.

What really grinds my gears is when people try to define me based on what I wear. Whether its my religious views or sexuality, someway somehow people identify what I have on with something. Since when did clothing classify me or anyone? How masculine I am? How I was raised? Who I sleep with? First and foremost, thats no ones business but God and I. Secondly, let me be. Please and thank you.

-Beanz

Shirt- H&M $17.99

Pants- Levis 512 $69.50

Shoes- Gucci Horsebit Slipper $650

#LEAVEMYHBCUALONE

No matter how much you try to ignore all that’s going on in the world, you can’t. Every morning you pick up your phone and there’s an alert from CNN reporting something about Trump and all his shenanigans. In recent news, there was a report about this HBCU initiative that he signed off on which basically will help fund HBCU through the White House. When I first saw the headline all I could do is shake my head.

I attend Clark Atlanta University and I love my HBCU even with all of its problems in regards to financial aid and the registrars office, it’s all apart of the growing that one goes through while attending this illustrious university.

Most HBCU are private schools which can put a nice dent in your pockets and a lot of funding is through grants and what not which is fine but, I’m not to sure how comfortable I am with Trump and his representatives having anything to do with HBCU especially mine in particular. I don’t trust it. Besty DeVous made a very interesting comment about HBCU “providing an alternative option to students denied the right to attend a quality school is the legacy of #HBCUs”. There’s so much wrong with that comment, and that comment is what Trump and his administration think about HBCU. These institutions were started by African Americans because they had no where else to go, there weren’t any alternatives. The founders of Howard, Bethune, FAMU, Morehouse, Spelman or Clark didn’t have the option of applying to Yale, Harvard, Duke or Princeton.  They weren’t allowed. Secondly, have you all forgot how many gems have come out of HBCU? The legacy that is embedded at HBCU are astonishing. We know who came before us and what they have done and we know the responsibility we have to continue the legacy in our own way. So if we’re talking about quality let’s discuss Martin Luther King(Morehouse College), Thurgood Marshall(Lincoln University,Howard University), Spike Lee(Morehouse College), Julius Chambers(Nord Carolina Central University), Langston Hughes(Lincoln University), and the list goes on! Lets talk about the future leaders of communities running for mayors and senators and the doctors and teachers that have graduated from HBCU.

I want to believe that this order will help HBCU but in his time where people don’t even see them as important and where the president has Twitter fingers and doesn’t seem to understand the importance of people of color and what they have done and are doing for America I have a hard time believing that this is going to end well or have any effect on HBCU at all. I have a hard time normalizing anything Trump does which is what a lot of people what me to do. Forget what him and his representatives represent. I have a hard time still processing what is going on in this country and the effects of how the decisions Trump has made is effecting other countries and our ties with other countries.

Thanks to my HBCU I have become a well versed individual. I have learned about myself and those before me and how I can help those after me. Every time I step on my campus I’m reminded about the excellence that is deeply rooted in the foundation of my institution. If the intentions of Trump aren’t good and are meant to take away what those before us have fought for, we are going to have major issues. I repeat, we must come together to keep what’s ours,(rights, land, money, schools, businesses) ours. #LEAVEMYHBCUALONE