Dating in College

I talk a lot about being alone and embracing being alone that people are starting to think I’m this young, heart broken black boy. Before I move forward with this post I just want to clear some things up, my heart has been broken but I have taken time to let it heal. Not only that, I have found the good in good bye and the peace that comes from being alone. I love seeing people happy in their relationships and my friends know they can come to me and talk about whatever they have going on in regards to their relationship for anything in life. I have not found anyone worth my energy. Time you can’t get back so sometimes you just have to take that L. But your energy  you can protect and release on what you please and you determine how much energy you’ll give something. Right now I’m protecting my energy and when life ushers in that special someone then we’ll take it from there. So no I’m not anti-relationships, no I’m not heart broken and though I have my sad spells like anyone who sufferes from depression but I’m not the founder of the Sad Boys Club.

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I’ve been asking my friends for their opinions on dating in college and just dating while young. I’ve heard so many different perspectives, it was very insightful to say the least. Apparently this subject has been put into the universe because my best friend and her boyfriend actually made a vlog about dating in college which was not only entertaining but informative. I’m pretty close with both of them but this video got deeper into their relationship. It was refreshing though because they were honest. It made me think about my dating experiences and just my out look on dating in college as a whole.

There was one question that stood out to me. Would you recommend dating in college to someone…there was a brief moment of silence but the response said a mouthful. Lets fast forward here, I linked the video (twice) so you all can watch it. I tell people all the time, don’t rush being in a relationship. The more you rush it, the quicker it will end. Enjoy yourself for a while then let life find your mate. But after watching the video, my response has changed. Ira, who was a guest on the vlog, responded and said “it depends where they are in life.” And that my friends is very important. As a friend, it is my duty to have a understanding of who you are and where you are in life. If you come to asking for advice I have to be honest with you. Maybe where you are right now, you need some time to heal and love yourself before you involve someone. Maybe you’re in a great place and someone deserves the love you have to share. It’s a case by case scenario.

Dating in college for me has been… hold on I have GIFs that explain all of this…

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starts out all…
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and then I realized…
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then I’m like…
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then I try again…
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eventually I’m here…still here
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but then i realized who the fuck I really was…

I know, I’m a joke. But literally its been a rollercoaster. Met some awesome people who I still keep in contact with. There was a lot of trash in the midst of me dating, shit theres still trash that I’m trying to get rid of but they won’t go! But each person taught me valuable lessons and I mean it is what it is. It’s not easy but fuck its so much fun! You literally just have try it before you shoot it down. At the moment I’m focusing on me and my career so a relationship doesn’t fit right now. But thats me, that may not be your situation but HEY if it is, welcome to the club, we have A/C and snacks! If you are young and dating or young and in college and dating or just dating in general, hold on. Understand each other, love each other, uplift each other. Give one another their space and understand in time, they’ll be back right up under you. There will be arguments, there will be moments where its like literally you want to kill each other but always remember the foundation that you guys are standing on which is love. Love yourself, love one another, spread love, be about love.

-Beanz Out

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#LEAVEMYHBCUALONE

No matter how much you try to ignore all that’s going on in the world, you can’t. Every morning you pick up your phone and there’s an alert from CNN reporting something about Trump and all his shenanigans. In recent news, there was a report about this HBCU initiative that he signed off on which basically will help fund HBCU through the White House. When I first saw the headline all I could do is shake my head.

I attend Clark Atlanta University and I love my HBCU even with all of its problems in regards to financial aid and the registrars office, it’s all apart of the growing that one goes through while attending this illustrious university.

Most HBCU are private schools which can put a nice dent in your pockets and a lot of funding is through grants and what not which is fine but, I’m not to sure how comfortable I am with Trump and his representatives having anything to do with HBCU especially mine in particular. I don’t trust it. Besty DeVous made a very interesting comment about HBCU “providing an alternative option to students denied the right to attend a quality school is the legacy of #HBCUs”. There’s so much wrong with that comment, and that comment is what Trump and his administration think about HBCU. These institutions were started by African Americans because they had no where else to go, there weren’t any alternatives. The founders of Howard, Bethune, FAMU, Morehouse, Spelman or Clark didn’t have the option of applying to Yale, Harvard, Duke or Princeton.  They weren’t allowed. Secondly, have you all forgot how many gems have come out of HBCU? The legacy that is embedded at HBCU are astonishing. We know who came before us and what they have done and we know the responsibility we have to continue the legacy in our own way. So if we’re talking about quality let’s discuss Martin Luther King(Morehouse College), Thurgood Marshall(Lincoln University,Howard University), Spike Lee(Morehouse College), Julius Chambers(Nord Carolina Central University), Langston Hughes(Lincoln University), and the list goes on! Lets talk about the future leaders of communities running for mayors and senators and the doctors and teachers that have graduated from HBCU.

I want to believe that this order will help HBCU but in his time where people don’t even see them as important and where the president has Twitter fingers and doesn’t seem to understand the importance of people of color and what they have done and are doing for America I have a hard time believing that this is going to end well or have any effect on HBCU at all. I have a hard time normalizing anything Trump does which is what a lot of people what me to do. Forget what him and his representatives represent. I have a hard time still processing what is going on in this country and the effects of how the decisions Trump has made is effecting other countries and our ties with other countries.

Thanks to my HBCU I have become a well versed individual. I have learned about myself and those before me and how I can help those after me. Every time I step on my campus I’m reminded about the excellence that is deeply rooted in the foundation of my institution. If the intentions of Trump aren’t good and are meant to take away what those before us have fought for, we are going to have major issues. I repeat, we must come together to keep what’s ours,(rights, land, money, schools, businesses) ours. #LEAVEMYHBCUALONE