I’ve been having a hard time reconnecting with myself. I have been so caught up in the hoopla that I feel like I wasn’t being me.Unfortunately, I was giving to much of my energy to the wrong things and people which caused me to lose myself for a while. I couldn’t articulate my thoughts, I couldn’t process things correctly. Then on top of that, summer school decided to turn up on me out of no where. So there I was, stuck and tired. Stuck in a place that I wasn’t familiar with and couldnt tell you how I got there. I just knew this place wasn’t allowing me to be myself. Earlier this week I told myself, I’m letting it go. I didn’t know what it was but I woke up and said, I’m letting this go. And I did. I realized that the reason why I was in this place of being stuck and tired is because I chose to stay there. I was choosing to stay in this place that kept me from being myself,kept me from opening up, kept me down. And the reason why I stayed there is because something in me felt safe there. “They can’t find me here” I told myself out of fear of being myself. I had given myself, my energy, my greatness to so many people who didnt deserve it, waste of time. People who were the result of “wyd” text and thoughts of boredom. My energy was off. My equilibrium was off. I was off. So I put myself in this place where I was drained and tired and I rested there. But I had to get out. I couldn’t let a few fuck ups get me out of whack.
I woke up today July 1,2017 with new energy, new thoughts, newness. Everything in my life is new. I have new people in my life occupying my time and we’re good. I have new struggles I haven’t dealt with before, but I will handle them. I have new goals and I can’t achieve those goals in that unfamiliar place of replenishment that kept me away from me. I’m here, I’m back and I’m happy to be here. Happy to be back in the now. Protect your energy, your body, your heart, your soul. Take that time you need to unplug but don’t forget to plug back in and be great.
Let’s get into this jacket ladies and gentleman. Let’s talk about this crazy deal I stumbled upon while riding around Atlanta and my friend randomly wanting to stop at Urban Outifitters. Now I have a rule about shopping at Urban Outiftters, if it isn’t on sale, PUT IT BACK! Literally, the majority of that stuff you can find at a thrift store, or on some hipster’s Etsy account. Where’s the lie? However, I don’t have time to search thrift stores and online shopping is a hassle so I just wait until Urban is having a sale. I could always wait on clothes. But that’s the problem, I always tell myself I could wait on clothes and end up with shoes for days with nothing to wear. So, I’ve been shopping. Reinventing my look (again). Trying to incorporate a little more color to my wardrobe. The sad part is someway, somehow I always result to buying something black or olive green or grey, those are like my go to colors. However, I saw this jacket and I had to have it. The site says $29.99 but I definitely paid $20. (Urban is weird like that)
I’ve been neglecting my denim. These are my favorite Joe’s jeans that I bought three years ago. I have ripped these jeans more times than I can count but I love them so I just get them patched up. I have a jeans about designer jeans and that’s just buy one pair a year. They’re supposed to last like forever so you don’t need to spend all your money on a pair everytime you go shopping. I have bought some cheap little H&M jeans and some BDG as well but their exactly that, cheap little jeans that if I wash and dry probably won’t fit the same.
I enjoyed this look. Felt great to wear. Got a lot of compliments and that jacket will be a staple in my wardrobe that will transition well into any season.
As you can see, people still don’t view us as humans. We are publicly humiliated and mutilated. They portray us as thugs, single moms, idiots, monkeys, terrorist. Even though we have have proved on numerous occasions that we are so much more than that. We are human beings and we deserve to be treated as such. Last summer, we witnessed several cases of black people’s lives being taken because some coward with a gun thought it would be cool to take someones life away because he or she was scared. We’re a threat because of our skin color and thats not okay. Our tax dollars have paid for these dash cams and body cams and we tune into Facebook Live feeds where we have witnessed one of our own’s life being taken for reaching for his wallet. Philando Castile’s life was taken last summer along with others and yet again, another cop gets set free while Castile is six feet under and his family is left without any justice in this injustice system. I have said it once before and I’ll say it again, I’m tired. Yet, I am not too tired not to fight for justice and equality for all people. I will continue to stand and fight on the behalf of all black people and people of color and everyone who is being treated as second and third class citizens in this country that our ancestors had built and fought for.
Stay together, unite as one. Summer time is open season to these gun crazy, scared, weak, disrespectful cops and I don’t have the proper shoes to march and stomp this summer. Be alert! Stay alert! Stay positive! Turn that anger over and start figuring some shit out. We have to stick together and realize that this system was not made for us to succeed and its also not made for us to bow down to. However, it is made for us to stand the fuck up. Rise to the occasion and realize that no matter what our role is in this revolution, we are apart of this revolution and in order to make changes we need you to be well and alive. Have fun this summer, dance hard to keep the vibrations high but do not become another hash tag. Fight the right fight, make the right change, be the change. I am here as Darrius Newton, Beanz, the owner of this blog, and I will stand with you and we will get through all of this together. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we will celebrate at the end together but do not give these idiots a reason to take another life. I’m not even sure how that works anymore because even when you follow “the rules” you’re still at risk BUT do not grow weary. Pray together, stay together.
It’s my favorite month of the year(besides my birthday). A month that focuses on black excellence. Yes black excellence is shown everyday and black people make history throughout the year but this month is for us.
I am unapologetically black everyday, 365 days of year and that will not change. What’s frustrating,however, are those who try to downplay black history month with questions like “why isn’t there a white history month?” Or with comments like “you’re pro black which means you’re anti white!” And I don’t understand how people confuse these things. First and foremost, the fact that white Hollywood had to tell me about black women being so profound in mathematics and science to the point where they helped with the first man going to the moon is why we have black history month and not white history month. White history is all I’ve been taught. The fact that black people have to go the extra mile just to find out that we’re more than athletes and enetertianers but we’re iventors, doctors, lawyers, scientist, philosophers is why we have black history month. If you feel like there needs to be a white history month, you are apart of the problem. White history is all that is taught and the story that white people stole black people from their homes to become slaves and how they tried to keep us as a oppressed race but we as a people said hell no, and decided to become the exact things white people were afraid of, phenomenal.
I never understood how one can interpret being pro black with anti white. But then again when you think about pro white groups such as the KKK, they are anti black so I guess that’s where the misinterpretation comes from. However, I love everyone no matter what the color of their skin is but I love myself first. I know what I posses as a black man and I am proud of that. I’m not here to downplay any other race I am here to uplift a race that has been put down for so long and to unify people as a whole. So yes, black history month is important because no matter where you turn, for a month(a short month) you will be forced to see the accomplishments of black people to remind you that we are humans too.
Everybody deserves to be celebrated throughout the year. And when it’s your time I will give you the respect you deserve, when it’s your time. But when February arrives, don’t take away the feeling from any black person. This is for us and let us embrace it.
Fashion week has been going on for a while now and this year like every other year I am enjoying the shows from my computer screen. I do plan on actually voicing my opinions on the upcoming trends but something heavy is on my heart. There’s a trend constantly being repeated in the fashion industry and it’s just getting out more and more, frustrating to say the least. This trend is called ‘BLACK WOMEN”. Yes, black women have been a “trend” for a while now. And it’s more than having the ebony skin tones grace the runway to over exaggerate the colors and textures of the piece, no that’s amazing, actually need to see more of it on the runway but, it’s the trend such as hair wraps and big door knocker earrings and obsessive hand jewelry, you know, the trends that black women have been rocking for years and have been belittled and degraded for? The trends that have been classified as “hood” or “ratchet”. The trends that I grew up seeing and admiring are now being worn by women and men of all colors and that’s fine but why are we changing the names? Why are we not giving the credit to the originators ? Why is it that when a black woman or man does it, it’s hood and ghetto but when Balenciaga recreates the Chinese slipper that cost $5 at the beauty supply store and sells it for $1,545 its trendy and the new “it” shoe? No. It’s old, been there, done that.
I think we just need to recognize the originators of basically everything and stop giving these big names the glory for things that have been done decades ago in black communities. I’m so proud of Rihanna for winning the style icon award because as an unapologetic black woman she is starting trends, continuing trends and in people’s face killing it without effort everyday! Black women are the true fashion icons and the true trend setters. Next time you see a sister rocking her look, applaud her because more than likely it will be on the runway in a few seasons and she won’t get the credit she deserves and that’s not okay.
Black women, I’m here for you all day everyday and NO ONE does you better than you! Black Women=ICONIC.