I’ve been having a hard time processing information lately. For some reason I feel as if I’m not getting the whole truth in things. Im discerning on another level that makes me question “is there more to this ?” What eventually happens is I end up on this quest for an answer that sits well with me. I dig for the answers that resinates with my spirit but even then I’m still left with the question “is there more to this?” Someone explained to me that this is all apart of the “awakening process” but I’m like, when did I sign up for this ?
Literally, internally I’m at peace with a lot of things and I find myself flowing a lot more fluidly these days and even when I’m on these mini quest of truth I’m still at peace. I’m not racing and pacing all over the place, I’m not freaking out, not losing out on sleep or anything. But it’s not always roses and cotton candy, sometimes I literally feel like I’m losing my shit. When something else is revealed to me I can’t just accept it, I have to process it. During that process I’m like “well why is it that at one point this was said? And am I the only one who sees this happening ?” It’s weird, it’s fun, it’s annoying.
All in all , this is my life. This is my journey. Everything has a purpose and I have given up on trying to figure out what the purpose is, everything will reveal itself in due time. The deeper I dig within myself, the more gold I will find. The more truth I operate in, the more love I will give out. I’m on this journey , no I didn’t sign up for it but someone or something knew this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I know I’m not alone when I say, 2017 has by far been the hardest year of my life. So much has changed internally and externally. It’s hard for me to keep up at times and sometimes I lose track of time and things and sometimes even people. I get so indulged in the now that I can’t recall yesterday and I definitely don’t have time to worry about tomorrow. Being tossed around by life isn’t the most enjoyable thing but I had to learn to enjoy whatever life brings me. I had to learn to laugh during the pain. And smile when it hurts. Not that I’m ignoring the struggle or the pain or any other negative force I just had to learn to get thru it. All of that takes a lot of energy.
I tell people all the time to protect your energy. I am the spokesperson for protecting your energy. Thats truly the only thing you cannot get back. You can try to redo things and keep trying and trying again until you get it right but the energy you used to do that will never come back. Was it worth it? In some instances, yes. But in a lot of cases its not. We waste so much energy of frivolous things that we end up hurting ourselves. I have fallen victim to this. I need time to heal and time to replenish my soul. Fall/ Winter is always a hard time for me. My body hurts, I’m tired and I’m cold. I hate being cold and tired at the same time( not fun!). Sometimes we have to separate ourselves from everything and everyone and be a little selfish and focus on ourselves. We deserve the time to be alone and do what we need to do in order to prosper and move forward in life. Self care ladies and gentlemen.
November is my month to disappear for a while. I disconnect from the world for a while to reconnect with myself and listen to what my soul is saying. This is the time I take in order to end the year on a positive note and welcome the new year in with open arms. i REenergize, REprogram, REvive and REplenish. In this time my phone isn’t glued to my hands, I’m not on social media and majority of my time is spent alone. Allow me this time to love myself so that I could continue to love you guys through my blog and daily encounters. I hope to come back with a new mind, heart and stronger spirit. There are things brewing in the pot for me and I can’t wait to come back and share everything with you all. I will return when the time is right just allow me this space and time to figure it out. Love you to the moon and back and back again.
As I continue to progress in life and tune into different atmospheres, I’ve become very observant. I’m observing myself, others, my environment, the seen and the unseen. one day I was walking into Kroger(grocery store) and me being the observer I am, I observed red and pink hearts everywhere. And literally, the eye roll that took place could’ve been seen from across the oceans! I just couldn’t believe its happening again, another Valentine’s Day; single and by myself.
After some time of being by yourself on Valentine’s Day you start telling yourself things like this “Valentine’s Day is dumb!” or “This is just another one of America’s ways to get peoples money!” and you become so numb to holiday as a whole. Another thing you do is, celebrate “Single’s Awareness Day” which is usually spent with your other single friends over a nice dinner and endless glasses of wine. All of that is okay but lets go back to what Valentine’s Day is about, love! One day dedicated to that one special person you truly care about or even love. A commercialized holiday yes, but its a day to really shed some love on someone. Lets take another step back and look at the relationship you share with yourself. What was the last thing you have done for yourself in the act of self care? Self love?
It is hard to balance everything you have to do and to take care of yourself. Trust me I know! I am such an advocate for being alone and taking care of yourself. Self care is usually the last thing on our todo list. The one thing we literally have to plan weeks in advance because we are so caught up in the other things that we have to do; pay bills, do homework, projects, stay current with the trends – there’s so much to do! And in the midst of doing all of that we sleep and take a shower and those are little acts of self care, absolutely. Take Valentine’s Day to go into self care overdrive. Go get a manicure/ pedicure, go get a haircut, clean your house, delete your emails, go buy a plant, go shopping- do what makes you happy. Self care is exactly what is sounds like, taking care of self. There are so many ways to do that, just make sure you are taking the time to do it.
Lets move forward this Valentine’s Day. Lets acknowledge the “holiday” and do what we need to do for ourselves. Let the couples enjoy their day together and we will enjoy the company of ourselves and take care of ourselves. Self care and self love is so important, if we do not take care of us inwardly and outwardly and learn to love ourselves, how are we supposed to love one another? Spread love, everyday and love each other everyday don’t wait on for February 14th to express your love for someone, do it as much as you can even if that someone is yourself.