Friday, June 16, 2017

Let’s get into this jacket ladies and gentleman. Let’s talk about this crazy deal I stumbled upon while riding around Atlanta and my friend randomly wanting to stop at Urban Outifitters. Now I have a rule about shopping at Urban Outiftters, if it isn’t on sale, PUT IT BACK! Literally, the majority of that stuff you can find at a thrift store, or on some hipster’s Etsy account. Where’s the lie? However, I don’t have time to search thrift stores and online shopping is a hassle so I just wait until Urban is having a sale. I could always wait on clothes. But that’s the problem, I always tell myself I could wait on clothes and end up with shoes for days with nothing to wear. So, I’ve been shopping. Reinventing my look (again). Trying to incorporate a little more color to my wardrobe. The sad part is someway, somehow I always result to buying something black or olive green or grey, those are like my go to colors. However, I saw this jacket and I had to have it. The site says $29.99 but I definitely paid $20. (Urban is weird like that) 

I’ve been neglecting my denim. These are my favorite Joe’s jeans that I bought three years ago. I have ripped these jeans more times than I can count but I love them so I just get them patched up. I have a jeans about designer jeans and that’s just buy one pair a year. They’re supposed to last like forever so you don’t need to spend all your money on a pair everytime you go shopping. I have bought some cheap little H&M jeans and some BDG as well but their exactly that, cheap little jeans that if I wash and dry probably won’t fit the same. 

I enjoyed this look. Felt great to wear. Got a lot of compliments and that jacket will be a staple in my wardrobe that will transition well into any season. 

Dear Black America

As you can see, people still don’t view us as humans. We are publicly humiliated and mutilated. They portray us as thugs, single moms, idiots, monkeys, terrorist. Even though we have have proved on numerous occasions that we are so much more than that. We are human beings and we deserve to be treated as such. Last summer, we witnessed several cases of black people’s lives being taken because some coward with a gun thought it would be cool to take someones life away because he or she was scared. We’re a threat because of our skin color and thats not okay. Our tax dollars have paid for these dash cams and body cams and we tune into Facebook Live feeds where we have witnessed one of our own’s life being taken for reaching for his wallet. Philando Castile’s life was taken last summer along with others and yet again, another cop gets set free while Castile is six feet under and his family is left without any justice in this injustice system. I have said it once before and I’ll say it again, I’m tired. Yet, I am not too tired not to fight for justice and equality for all people. I will continue to stand and fight on the behalf of all black people and people of color and everyone who is being treated as second and third class citizens in this country that our ancestors had built and fought for.

Stay together, unite as one. Summer time is open season to these gun crazy, scared, weak, disrespectful cops and I don’t have the proper shoes to march and stomp this summer. Be alert! Stay alert! Stay positive! Turn that anger over and start figuring some shit out. We have to stick together and realize that this system was not made for us to succeed and its also not made for us to bow down to. However, it is made for us to stand the fuck up. Rise to the occasion and realize that no matter what our role is in this revolution, we are apart of this revolution and in order to make changes we need you to be well and alive. Have fun this summer, dance hard to keep the vibrations high but do not become another hash tag. Fight the right fight, make the right change, be the change. I am here as Darrius Newton, Beanz, the owner of this blog, and I will stand with you and we will get through all of this together. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and we will celebrate at the end together but do not give these idiots a reason to take another life. I’m not even sure how that works anymore because even when you follow “the rules” you’re still at risk BUT do not grow weary. Pray together, stay together.



Who asked you?

I have a problem. My problem is, I do what I want. With this problem, people feel the need to tell me how they feel about what I’m doing but what they really like to talk about is what I’m wearing. It is very seldom that I ask people how they feel about my outfit or should I wear something or not. My style is exactly that, mine. It’s my way of self expression, my mood, my stance , whatever! It’s mine and I don’t need anyone telling me anything about it except, “You look nice.” where I humbly reply, “Thank you.” and go about my business. I always look nice in my opinion even on the days where I’m not that satisfied with my outfit because I remind myself, when I got dressed today, thats how i felt and somewhere between then and now I changed.

What really grinds my gears is when people try to define me based on what I wear. Whether its my religious views or sexuality, someway somehow people identify what I have on with something. Since when did clothing classify me or anyone? How masculine I am? How I was raised? Who I sleep with? First and foremost, thats no ones business but God and I. Secondly, let me be. Please and thank you.


Shirt- H&M $17.99

Pants- Levis 512 $69.50

Shoes- Gucci Horsebit Slipper $650

Good morning…

There has been so much on my mind that I’m having a hard time articulating. I’m having the worst case of writers block like ever. I know what I want to say but when it’s time for me to write it out I just get stumped and get to a point where I’m lost for words. I’ve been here many times before but this time I feel defeated. I feel that my writers block has gotten the best of me. I feel like my pen is running out of ink. It’s like what else can I say in regards to black people and why black People are so great in every aspect? Why do I still have to stress black lives matter? Why are so many women being mistreated and no one is saying about it? What new trend is even a new trend anymore? I’m at a lost and I feel like my pen is running out of ink.There’s hope though. There’s hope in those frantic scribbles that you do when your pen is dying out on you. You know that there is something left and you keep scribbling until finally something comes out. There’s ink! I’m scribbling and scribbling in hopes that something comes out. Something worth reading, something worth discussing. I’m at a point of beast mode. A can’t stop won’t stop type of thing. I just can’t stop now and that’s in regards to everything. Not just Designer Beanz but life. I wake up near tears some days (today being one of those days) because…i don’t know. But there’s that little teaspoon of hope in me that’s like DAMMIT DARRIUS! Go be great! That little bit of hope is all I have left I feel. It’s the only thing keeping me here and I’m so thankful for that little bit of hope. 

So it looks like my pen still has ink and it looks like hope won again. I say all this to say, be great Beany Babies. Just be fucking great! It’s hard sometimes. The current state of this country is hard to take in sometimes , our lives get out of order but go be fucking great. Keep scribbling those pens and keep breaking the barriers that were set up for your demise. Go. Be. Great.

-Beanz Out

Update: Racism & Work

I haven’t posted in a while because, life. But guess who accepted their first big boy job? Yes Beanie Babies, I am now apart of Teach for America! It’s truly an honor. And it was perfect timing because I’m ready to say “KISS MY BLACK ASS” to my current employer, Nordstrom. Which brings me into the point of this post, inequality within the work place. So, get a little closer into your screens and catch this.

So, at work we have to wear a third piece which is like no big deal for me because I’m king of jackets at this point. I have a jacket for like every mood, season, occasion, doesn’t matter I’m well prepared with jackets. My favorite jacket is my thrifted American Eagle denim jacket with “BLM” painted on the back. For those who don’t know BLM stands for Black Lives Matter. Now, I’ve been wearing this jacket to work for over a year now with no problems. I’ve had customers ask what it means and I tell them and they never have a problem with it. It’s either a “oh ok cool” or a “right on brother!” Just depends on who it is. So of course, spring is here, I wanted to do a simple denim on denim look with a loafer. Left class and headed to work like I do everyday. Now let’s pause, I believe in wearing your beliefs and for whatever reason some people still have a bad taste in their mouth about Black Lives Matter and since I don’t want to discuss why black lives matter every day of my life, I simply had BLM put on it which literally could mean, anything. Bacon,lettuce and mayonnaise. Booty,lips and manners. Believe, love and magic. I don’t know I could do this all day. And the importance of these pieces of clothing no matter what they say or stand for is to let people know, this is who I am, this is what I’m about and I don’t have to say it. Isn’t that what fashion is anyway? Self expression ?

Anyways, so I’m at work politicking with a co-worker and another co-worker of mine decides to walk up to us and goes “they let you wear that jacket to work?” Let’s pause again. I’ve been wearing this jacket for over a year now. Also, this is the same co worker who likes to call black men thugs because of what they have on, this is the same co worker who brags about people she has gotten fired because they said something to her that wasn’t to her standards, this is also the same co worker who voted for Donald. Anyways, this is how the conversation went.

Co-worker: They let you wear that jacket to work?

Me: Yes.

Co-Worker: That’s interesting because they didn’t let me wear my “it ain’t easy being sleazy” shirt to work

Me: Uhm, so you’re comparing my BLM jacket to your shirt that says it’s not easy being sleazy?

Co-Worker: Yeah! It’s not fair! I’m offended!!

Me: Why are you offended?

Co-Worker: Because its offensive !

Me:Well you know who offends me? Your president.

Co-Worker: Ok but don’t all lives matter ?

Me: They do but people like you and your president tend to target people of color and black people, hence why black lives matter.

Co-Worker: Oh really? Ok. Well I’ll see you in HR.

Girl! G-I-R-L!!! I was so confused. Like how dare she? The audacity of her to try to pick an argument with me while I’m at work. But I was so unbothered I just continued to work and I did mention it to my managers what had taken place and they were just as confused me because again I’ve been wearing this jacket for over year now(I’m going to keep bringing that up). But here’s the gag, swallow whatever you’re drinking or chewing because I’m about to blow your life. After she leaves, she calls the department and asks to speak to me. When I picked up she’s like ” Haha! I really got you didn’t I? Oh man! That was funny! You know I was playing right ? I mean why would I care what your jacket says? I love you! Bye”. Only thought that went through my mind was “What kind of white magic is this?” Like I was so blown! I felt like I was in the matrix.

Let’s be very clear, no one plays like that! Like no one. Also, behind every I’m playing is a lot of I’m very serious. This lady is always reaching on into the racists pool of problems and she expects me to think she was playing.

So the next day I was off, and apparently she went around telling people what she did making light of the whole situation. FYI: the majority of my department is black. There’s two Asians and three other white women, one who is married to a black man and has a baby by him. So no one was on her side. She opened her damn mouth so much it eventually got to upper management and then became an HR issue(head of HR is also black). I didn’t return to work until the day after and guess what the hell they told me, I couldn’t wear the jacket I’ve been wearing for over a year to work anymore. So I’m like, are you guys going to buy me a new jacket because now I’m offended. Basically, it’s ok for this white woman to openly make racist remarks and attack people at work but I can’t wear a jacket that say BLM which can literally mean bacon, lettuce and mayonnaise? I was enraged. So enraged I had to call my mother. Sometimes you just have to call your mom and she said something to me that calmed me all the way down “People like that need small victories like that to make them feel bigger than they are,let her have this small victory because yours will be way bigger” and yes God it was!

It doesn’t matter what I wear or how I wear it, someone is going to be offended or make me a target for something. It’s all apart of being black in America. I can wear a suit and tie and still be referred to as a thug when I’m the furthest thing from a thug all because I’m a black man. And that’s the sad truth of it all. Nordstrom telling me I couldn’t wear my jacket was a slap in the face for me but again, small victories. I’m pro black with or without the jacket so it’s ok. My stance is still the same, black lives matter and I don’t have to explain why they do, they just do. Fashion is self expression and if we can’t express ourself with our outfits, what are we supposed to do ?

-Beanz Out