Issa Word

We all like to be comfortable, it feels good to be comfortable. A familiar place, a place that registers with your mind, your soul. We stay in our comfort zones and ignore what is really happening around us and within us. We ignore the tell-tell signs that our comfort zones are actually a distraction. We aren’t paying attention to the signs that are around us telling us to leave our comfort zones or whatever is making us comfortable. Being uncomfortable sometimes is what we need sometimes. We need to be in a place where not only are we not familiar but where we don’t know what to do. We rely on every unction and we are so in tuned with that voice in our heads that we end up learning so much from that uncomfortable, unfamiliar place. It is in that same uncomfortable place where we grow. The trials and tribulations that came forth in that time has prepared us for what is next. What is to come. Our destiny. We sometimes get so lost in the world and all that is going on that we just try to figure things out on our own when sometimes all we need to do Is put our neck out there and let life have at it. It’s okay to fail in these times and it’s okay to fall but remember everything has a purpose. Learn from the failure and learn from that fall so your next fall wont hurt as bad and the fall after that would only be a trip and then after that we stand tall as a tree-20 foot tall. 

I have been in so many comfortable situations that have not been healthy to my growth and I Have witnessed so many people stay in a place where they aren’t even happy but that’s all they know or that’s all they can see themselves at. But there’s so much more in the world. We have to stop being blinded by stuff and things and people and places that aren’t really the best things for us. Let it go. Move on. It’s scary I know but do it. Do it for your well being and do it for those watching you. 

I leave you all with this, my grandfather said something one time that stayed with me forever. He is a man of few words but he once said something along the lines of, I die everyday( can’t remember exactly what he said to be honest but I remember what it meant). Everyday we have a choice to lay down another burden, to turn a new leaf, to learn something new. The person I was yesterday will not be the person I am today hence, I die everyday. Everyday take a step out your comfort zone. Everyday work on bettering yourself, your community and those in it. 

-Beanz Out 

Depression, fashion and me.

I will never forget when I realized I suffered from depression. I had just got off work and I had a pretty decent day and I was waiting on the train. The sun was still out and I believe I had made a purchase, can’t remember exactly what I bought but, I do remember this sad feeling that just came out of no where. Nothing triggered it, no one was around me I just felt sad out of no where. In that moment I was like do I suffer from depression ? Like I had to ask myself that question. And me being me I was like “No way not me” but then I faced reality and was like oh man, I think I’m depressed. And it was something I couldn’t shake. After that moment I analyzed my life to find out oh man, you’ve suffered from depression for a long time! In the midst of my train ride and after some quiet time I eventually was able to go back feeling like my regular, content, resting bitch face self. 
For me, I always looked for ways to escape my reality and I never actually faced it. Fashion has helped me face reality as well as becoming spiritually inclined. The depression that I didn’t acknowledge as depression helped me develop my style and evolve in my style. The process of coping allows me to pay attention to small details and allows me look at patterns and textures differently. Though I don’t think I could work in fashion industry anymore, I will always appreciate fashion and what it has done for me. 

I’m not sure if I’ve stated this but this blog is pro black. Pro black , not anti white. With that being said, black people and people of color need to pay attention to their mental health and overall health more. This whole kanye situation really allowed me to think, a lot …more than I usually do. And I am so glad that he realized he had a problem and took the time to take care of it. Kanye has inspired me since the pink polos with the popped collar and the Louis Vuitton backpack. And to see someone you look up to go through something you also go through puts you in a place. A place that you cannot describe. But that same place allows me to be a voice that needs to be heard. Your mental, spiritual, emotional health is very important and needs to be taken care of. I think a lot of times as creatives we get so wrapped up in our heads we forget to check back in to the reality of things and when we do it causes us to freak out a little bit. Like damn I have all these things to do and people watching me, how am I to handle all of this, we ask ourselves. Then we get trapped in this emotion we can’t describe. But we have to learn to focus our energy somewhere that keeps us in the now no matter what that now is. We have to be able to learn to grow from the now whether it’s good or bad. 
I could go on forever about this but, take care of yourself and others.

-Beanz Out