Who asked you?

I have a problem. My problem is, I do what I want. With this problem, people feel the need to tell me how they feel about what I’m doing but what they really like to talk about is what I’m wearing. It is very seldom that I ask people how they feel about my outfit or should I wear something or not. My style is exactly that, mine. It’s my way of self expression, my mood, my stance , whatever! It’s mine and I don’t need anyone telling me anything about it except, “You look nice.” where I humbly reply, “Thank you.” and go about my business. I always look nice in my opinion even on the days where I’m not that satisfied with my outfit because I remind myself, when I got dressed today, thats how i felt and somewhere between then and now I changed.

What really grinds my gears is when people try to define me based on what I wear. Whether its my religious views or sexuality, someway somehow people identify what I have on with something. Since when did clothing classify me or anyone? How masculine I am? How I was raised? Who I sleep with? First and foremost, thats no ones business but God and I. Secondly, let me be. Please and thank you.

-Beanz

Shirt- H&M $17.99

Pants- Levis 512 $69.50

Shoes- Gucci Horsebit Slipper $650

V-DAY

As I continue to progress in life and tune into different atmospheres, I’ve become very observant. I’m observing myself, others, my environment, the seen and the unseen. one day I was walking into Kroger(grocery store) and me being the observer I am, I observed red and pink hearts everywhere. And literally, the eye roll that took place could’ve been seen from across the oceans! I just couldn’t believe its happening again, another Valentine’s Day; single and by myself.

After some time of being by yourself on Valentine’s Day you start telling yourself things like this “Valentine’s Day is dumb!” or “This is just another one of America’s ways to get peoples money!” and you become so numb to holiday as a whole. Another thing you do is, celebrate “Single’s Awareness Day” which is usually spent with your other single friends over a nice dinner and endless glasses of wine. All of that is okay but lets go back to what Valentine’s Day is about, love! One day dedicated to that one special person you truly care about or even love. A commercialized holiday yes, but its a day to really shed some love on someone. Lets take another step back and look at the relationship you share with yourself. What was the last thing you have done for yourself in the act of self care? Self love?

It is hard to balance everything you have to do and to take care of yourself. Trust me I know! I am such an advocate for being alone and taking care of yourself. Self care is usually  the last thing on our todo list. The one thing we literally have to plan weeks in advance because we are so caught up in the other things that we have to do; pay bills, do homework, projects, stay current with the trends – there’s so much to do! And in the midst of doing all of that we sleep and take a shower and those are little acts of self care, absolutely. Take Valentine’s Day to go into self care overdrive. Go get a manicure/ pedicure, go get a haircut, clean your house, delete your emails, go buy a plant, go shopping- do what makes you happy. Self care is exactly what is sounds like, taking care of self. There are so many ways to do that, just make sure you are taking the time to do it.

Lets move forward this Valentine’s Day. Lets acknowledge the “holiday” and do what we need to do for ourselves. Let the couples enjoy their day together and we will enjoy the company of ourselves and take care of ourselves. Self care and self love is so important, if we do not take care of us inwardly and outwardly and learn to love ourselves, how are we supposed to love one another? Spread love, everyday and love each other everyday don’t wait on for February 14th to express your love for someone, do it as much as you can even if that someone is yourself.

Inauguration Day 

I’ve been dreading this day  since the election. For the past week or so I’ve been trying to distract my mind from what is actually happening. I was working on another post in the midst of the semester starting back up again but my mind was just clustered. It really hit me last night after seeing all the lovely shades of people at my institution who are doing miraculous things that we now are under a President who disregards everything that we have accomplished as a people and who is publically the face of racism,sexism,rape culture, homophobia, classism, etc. just because the color of our skin.

Initially I grew weary. I knew what kind of  country we lived in. I knew what we were against. It’s never been easy for us and when I say us I’m not singling out any color, gender or race. If you feel me, you feel me. It’s always been a struggle but to publically be embarrassed and publically tell us in a sense “you don’t matter” its humiliating. Now this orange man has to be the mouth piece for this country that WE built. But then I allowed my self to reflect. I felt a shift, honestly. I saw people come together for the first time in a long time as one. Everyone put their issues to the side for once and saw one another as humans and understood for a second ; if not us, then who? Communities are coming together and forming alliances and looking out for one another because there is an understanding that we must be the change and we must continue the greatness that our ancestors have paved the way for us to follow. We must allow the scars of the past to heal and to treat each other as equals and learn to love from within. I see it happening, it’s taking time to fully get there but it’s happening. It’s going to take time but I thank Trump for showing people what this country has turned into and allowing people to ask the question to themselves ,”if not us,then who?”

On this day Friday, January 20,2017 I will continue my day as normal. I will stand strong, dress well and talk my shit. I will NOT watch the publicity stunt that they are calling the Inauguration. Trump is NOT my president and that won’t change. Today just like yesterday and the day before and the year before we must continue to better ourselves and better each other. Through God, Christ, the universe and our ancestors we have the strength to overcome all road bumps and dodge all distractions. We have to love ourselves and love one another and love each and every moment of this journey that we have been given. We must STOMP through this journey with pride and confidence and let’s not forget love. On this day, I will be doing my laundry,doing my homework and taking my fly ass to work because we got shit to do. As long as we have one another and the almighty in the midst, we will be okay.

-Beanz Out