Angry Black Man

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about choosing battles and I realize how important that is. We must be mindful however that everyone’s decisions may be different in regards to what battles they choose. I have a lot to be mad about. I am adjusting, I am figuring things out but I’m also fucking mad. I’ve been running from the “angry black man” stigma that has been stamped on my back. It wasn’t until the other day that I said , fuck it. I’ll be the angry black man. I thought about Stokely Carmichael and Marcus Garvey and even Martin Luther King Jr. in some cases. All these men were stamped with the angry black man stigma and all they were trying to do is fight for equality for those who identify with them from the human aspect. They spoke, they marched, they fought. They forced uncomfortable conversations and ideas and they invoked change in America and all around the world. If that’s what being the angry black man is well, make me a fucking shirt because I have a lot to be mad about.

For too long people of color have been told how they need to rationalize their feelings. For too long we have adjusted our truth to make sure we don’t step on any fragile( read white ) toes. I am not in the business of comprising myself for the sake of someone else’s (read white ) feelings. I am also not in the business of congratulating white people (you read it right) for speaking out about their privilege and their racist acts. You are owning up to something we knew forever, what’s next sis? What does admitting your privilege actually do? What have you done besides have a conversation with your other white friends in your “safe spaces” about your twisted reality of privilege? When is the actual work going to start? That’s when I’ll give you the cookie you’ve been craving for the past two years because it only became cool two years ago to discuss privilege( thanks Donald). White people feel like they deserve a seat at the table for their small acts but no, that’s not how it works. There are CENTURIES of pain and tears that have been embedded into people of colors DNA and I cannot fault current white America for what their ancestors have done but don’t ridicule me for fleshing out my feelings and don’t tell me when or where it’s appropriate to have these discussions and what I definitely don’t care about is your white tears. Keep that energy when it’s time to confront racism, fascism, xenophobia, homophobia, prejudice, immigrants, clean water, ALL OF THAT! That same energy that makes you mad and uncomfortable, KEEP IT! Keep it when you are needed as an ally. Thats your job. That’s your part. We don’t need you to admit your wrongs anymore, we know your kind all to well.

Pick your battles they say. Fine. I’m picking to fight the battles my ancestors didn’t get a chance to fight. I’m picking the battles that my ancestors didn’t even know needed to be fought. I’m picking the battles that will benefit those who will come after me. I am angry. I am mad. But I am my ancestors wildest dreams. And I will fight, unapologetically. I just need you to move out my way.

-Beanz Out

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